Chapter 4 "The Allure" and Chapter 5 "The Inner Quality" Overview

Chapter 4 "The Allure":

Okay, so I'm going to not give the whole, big overview of every chapter. When I start the new books, I'll probably do it for the first book, but encourage you to purchase each. One of our books is available in the library too whenever we get to it. But even if you can't buy the book, we will speak enough about it and give you scripture to study and chew on during the week.

Anyway, chapter 4 has two lessons.

Lesson 1: Showing Less Controls More

Yes, she said showing less controls more. And it does, proven by the Gestalt theory. Here's a description of the Gestalt theory: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestalt_theory. Basically, its a theory that says if a picture is put in front of you incomplete, your brain automatically wants to complete it. The same is with women, if they are barely wearing anything, a guy wants to complete the picture, which is "undressing you with his eyes." Also, she says that the ''allure'' is what makes it tempting. If a girl is naked in front of a guy, its not as alluring, because there is nothing left to the imagination. Showing your belly, your bra strap under a spaghetti strap, etc. can be just as bad as hanging a noose around the neck of a guy's spiritual life.

Sometimes, you want to be that girl that turns all the guy's heads. We've all felt this way, we all ache to be adored and noticed.But use Dannah's advice about advertising secrets to your advantage, not to your disadvantage.

Lesson 2: Perceived Value Increases Worth

In business, if the value is perceived as high, then the worth increases. The same principle is used when you dress. Modesty protects the true secrets of your body for one man, requiring him to invest in your life in order to one day enjoy your allure. Proverbs 13:19 says "a longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul." So if he has to work to earn your heart then it makes it so much more precious because he becomes motivated by love. Also, guys on MTV and everywhere that is in the ''casual sex scene'' say that when it ultimately comes down to it, they want a pure, modest girl. HELLO! They can go out and sleep with 50 girls, but they don't want ''that kind'' of girl, they want the pure girl. Doesn't make sense? Well how about you wait it out and not be ''that kind'' of girl. Be the pure, modest girl.

Dannah's husband was thrilled by her modesty. And he says he desired to earn her. D0n't we want our husband to say the same? Modesty is the first defense for your purity!

Fashion Challenge:

1. Make 3 piles. Get a friend to do this with you. The 1st one called Cheap Thrills Pile which is clothes that you've been wearing that invite a guy to complete the picture in his mind.

2. The 2nd pile should be Power Pile which is the clothes that hide the secrets of your alluring body to put back in your closet and/or your drawers.

3. The 3rd pile called Fuzzy Friend Pile. The pile of clothes that you're fuzzy about, and tell your friend to make a decision for you. Do not compromise.

Point to look at: The allure of immodesty is not in what is seen but what is not seen. Modesty issues a challenge for one man to romantically earn your virtue.

Chapter 4 "The Inner Quality":

The beginning of this chapter compares Bathsheba bathing on a rooftop and Britney Spears in concert in 2001. Both are careless and thoughtless exposure which cause our brothers in Christ to falter. The greater sin is not what she's (you're) wearing but that she (you) desire spectators to lust after her. We must look past the trends, they change from culture to culture. But Rebekah, although she received the nose ring, she wore a veil when her husband came around, hiding the fashion. We also, should take this as an example. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

Queen Vashti, which was Esther's predecessor, is a hidden Bible hero. The king asked her to flaunt her body in front of him and his drunken friends, and she refused. She lost her crown, but not her honor or integrity. She oozed with inner confidence.

Inner confidence is what we should strive to have. There are many examples of this such as Joy Williams only giving guy ''side hugs''. You cannot limit the power of your modest to just what you wear. It's also controlled by where you are willing to go with guys, when you go there, and how you act. Being a flirt is invading a guy's personal space or flirts with him issues an unspoken challenge concerning her sexuality. This exhibitionism can be hidden insecurity. Like those girls who can't stop talking about themselves.

She refers back to the Greek Slave which was used as an example in Chapter 1, if you want to go look at the statue again. Click on the link in Chapter 1. Anyway, this statue shows how her inner confidence shines through. Modesty is a great paradox. Although an immodest woman creates insatiable curiosity in a guy, it is the modest girl whose heart is most desires. Modesty is first exhibited through external modesty. Then through, internal modesty. Internal modesty is a girl who doesn't hang all over guys but acknowledges them nonchalantly as she might see another girl and it is also seen in the girl whose morning dress routine helps her reflect God's beauty but does not find her obsessing in front of the mirror. It's seen in the girl who requires the guy to do the pursuing ... in the girl whose conversation revolves more around other people than herself ... in the girl who's obviously more in love with Jesus than the idea of a boyfriend.

So which girl are you?

Point to look at: A girl's modesty is first noted by her external presentation, but if it's not followed by the confidence of inner modesty, she still forfeits the power of her virtue.